Category: New Life

“Did You Just Get Here?”

Anonymous

 

I didn’t like my behavior yesterday at Samuel French.

I hate the negative association around being an actor.

Being an actor looking for an agent.

Being a new woman actress:

“Did you just get here,” the Samuel French employee asked me.

 

I hate feeling like I’m New and Don’t Know Anything.

Cause I am New and Don’t Know Anything.

 

And when I was in Chicago; I felt like I knew a lot. And I wasn’t the New Kid. Many, many people knew me and many people respected me- or just knew that I worked.

Now, I am put in the same category with every other New Actor and I am not. I was trained and worked in Chicago. And I hate myself because I should’ve just shut up. Shut up. I will just Shut Up when I’m Insecure.

 

“Before you speak ask yourself if what you are going to say is true, is kind, is necessary, is helpful. If the answer is no, maybe what you are about to say should be left unsaid.” -Bernard Meltzer

1st Day in Los Angeles

Anonymous

Now it’s time to make my Home. A New Life. A New Beginning.

Integrity. I will be a great friend.

I will not be used by men. Period. There will be no physical relationships unless there is love-mutual love. Period. I will not play Dumb Girl. I will not play Dumb girl. I will not play Dumb girl. I will be guarded but honest. I will only surround myself with people who love me. I will not surround myself with people who do not love and respect me.

I will go to church. I enjoyed going to church with Jay-it helped me put the week in perspective and I’ll miss Jay so much. He was my family, friend, best-friend, partner, life-coach and Home for 4 years.

I need to make a life here and I need to start with Integrity.

The apartment is the missing piece in the puzzle. If I have to pay exorbitant prices in rent, I will be a slave to the rent every month, every day.  If I have ridiculous rent, I’ll be a slave to the Dollar and not to my Dreams.

But if I sublet from Kristen or someone or get a roommate, I’ll be a slave to them – and I won’t have my own space and quiet to figure things out and stay sane. I don’t want to be at someone else’s beck and call. I want my own space in a beautiful dwelling.

 

Ten Things to be Thankful for-

-Thank God, I got here safely

-Thank God, it’s a sublet so I can store/ spread out my stuff

-Thank God, I got packed and the movers came

-Thank God, I finally left Chicago

-Thank God, that my Chicago Agent finally paid me

-Thank God for credit cards

-Thank God, I have friends out here

-Thank God for a car that works

-Thank God for my Grandma. I couldn’t have done it with out her.

-Thank God for my health and I am not hung over.