“Bubble.”

Global Pandemic. Lightning Storms, Fires, Smoke, Unhealthy Air Quality then an Earthquake. Repeat.

On Friday September 18th, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg passed away; Los Angeles experienced another earthquake and my family in the Midwest found out they had Covid. Their neighbor said he was never going to wear a mask.

As a country, today there are now 200,000 American deaths across the US. California has had 778,400 confirmed cases and 14,987 deaths. In LA county, there are 1343 new cases.

My birthday happened during the pandemic. Most people forgot. My mother-in-law who resides in a county where covid cases have not yet surged, said to me, “Sorry I missed your birthday. How are you feeling that I forgot to call you on your birthday?”

I was quiet. I didn’t know how to respond.

“Well, what are you two going to do tonight to celebrate? Aren’t you going to go out and celebrate? Why don’t you go dancing?”

I was bewildered and asked, “Are you proposing that I go to the bars and clubs tonight?”

“Yes, wouldn’t that be nice?” she urged me.

“I think all the bars and clubs are closed,” I couldn’t believe I was having this conversation. The last I checked, I reside in the middle of a city that has more widespread surging cases every day than most states, where the virus greedily spreads indoors especially in bars and night clubs and yet, I was feeling heckled by this family member for not partying like a rock star, gathering shoulder to shoulder with hundreds of others in indoor venues in the middle of a global pandemic??

My weekly phone calls with various family & friends across the country can be shocking at times.

But with very close family in the Midwest, towards the beginning of the pandemic, I was concerned but felt hopeful for their safety.

“We are all really careful. Cassie is freaked out about the whole covid thing. Donna is freaked out about the whole covid thing. Dana looks at the CDC website. Dana has had to take the covid test three times getting her mom help,” my mother assured me.

But as the summer went on, my mother and her husband grew tired of covid, they would have one weekend after another full of social outings planned. “He can’t stand to stay home.”

“I know it’s hard and no one really likes to stay at home,” I was trying to be careful, “but it’s probably not a great idea to travel or to be out and about, hanging out in close proximity with your friends, right?” I was trying to nudge her respectfully.

“I know, but this isn’t L.A. We never really had cases here. There were a few but it’s mainly in the big city. It missed us,” my mother was trying to get me not to worry.

“Yeah but we live in a highly mobile society, right? So, it’s not a matter of if the virus will arrive, it’s when. I know you’re tired of covid. Everyone is tired of covid. It’s easy to get complacent but that seems to be the pattern: complacency, letting our guards down, and then before ya know it, the virus is widespread,” I was sort of pleading.

“Don’t worry about us. We have our bubble. We are very careful. We’ll be fine,” my mother tried to reassure me.

Yesterday, I missed a phone call from my mother. She never calls on a Sunday. “Well, Phil tested positive for Covid Friday and I think I have it too. Well I don’t think I have it, I know I have it.”

I just wish we would all be on the same page from #45 to scientists from state to state from city to city and from town to town.

Solidarity against Brutality

Today they buried George Perry Floyd Jr.

George Floyd was choked to death by a Minneapolis police officer. I felt horror and sadness when I saw the picture of the police officer with his knee on the back of George Floyd’s neck for 8 minutes and 46 seconds. George begged. He pleaded. “I can’t breathe.” The policeman would not stop. George died.

20,000 people in Los Angeles marched this past weekend. People all over the country are in solidarity against the systemic racial injustice of the last four hundred years. We are awake. We see. We know. Black Lives Matter.

He drove down the street

Diversion and light-heartedness

They stopped for awhile

Some coffee, A smile

They loved to be with him

He’s such a good person

She needed a favor

He stopped for his neighbor

As protests spread across the United States, Trump & Barr had peaceful protesters cleared from Lafayette Square, the area surrounding St. John’s Episcopal church, with rubber bullets and tear gas, so that Trump could have his picture taken in front of the historic church. Two weeks after George Floyd’s death, people are still marching against brutality–police brutality & presidential brutality.

Rally, they call a Crime Scene

Humvee Military

History Repeating

Raise your Fist

We need Justice

Rally, they call a Crime Scene

Humvee Military

Solidarity ‘gainst Brutality

Raise your Fist; We need Justice

Rally, they call a Crime Scene

Democracy, Equality

“No Justice, No Peace, No Racist Police”

It’s been a difficult two weeks. Confusion, crying, mourning, grieving.

Meanwhile, the the global pandemic has claimed the lives of over 110,00 Americans, with almost 2 million coronavirus cases in the US. As more states reopened prematurely, 22 states have experienced an increase in coronavirus cases. And in California, we have not seen the end of the first wave and with the reopening of the economy, Barbara Ferrer, Los Angeles County public health director is concerned.

Now, since so many are out in the street in the midst of a global pandemic, there is fear that there will be a super surge of corona virus cases and deaths. I hope our country can unite and rally against two enemies: racial injustice and covid-19.

What’s Going On?

What’s going on with that manager?

He wanted to meet me at a smoothie place and then drive to that taco stand. He drives a blue convertible and is always on the phone.

I thought he would take me on as his client.

He asked me if I’d go with him to all of these places. Sure, I’d love to go to church. Sure, I’d love to go to Al-Anon. I’d love to go to the movies. But he’s slapped my Ass multiple times. He’s made several comments and he’s tried to sit extremely close on the couch and get me to sit in his lap. No matter how much I’d love to hang out as friends, he clearly wants more. And I want to be friends with a capital P for Platonic and great Business Partners. But definitely not Romantic.

He’s quite possibly abusing his power.

Ya think?

But not taking responsibility for it; that’s for sure.

I’m gonna tell him that I have a boyfriend.

 

There I just told him.

1st Day in Los Angeles

Now it’s time to make my Home. A New Life. A New Beginning.

Integrity. I will be a great friend.

I will not be used by men. Period. There will be no physical relationships unless there is love-mutual love. Period. I will not play Dumb Girl. I will not play Dumb girl. I will not play Dumb girl. I will be guarded but honest. I will only surround myself with people who love me. I will not surround myself with people who do not love and respect me.

I will go to church. I enjoyed going to church with Jay-it helped me put the week in perspective and I’ll miss Jay so much. He was my family, friend, best-friend, partner, life-coach and Home for 4 years.

I need to make a life here and I need to start with Integrity.

The apartment is the missing piece in the puzzle. If I have to pay exorbitant prices in rent, I will be a slave to the rent every month, every day.  If I have ridiculous rent, I’ll be a slave to the Dollar and not to my Dreams.

But if I sublet from Kristen or someone or get a roommate, I’ll be a slave to them – and I won’t have my own space and quiet to figure things out and stay sane. I don’t want to be at someone else’s beck and call. I want my own space in a beautiful dwelling.

 

Ten Things to be Thankful for-

-Thank God, I got here safely

-Thank God, it’s a sublet so I can store/ spread out my stuff

-Thank God, I got packed and the movers came

-Thank God, I finally left Chicago

-Thank God, that my Chicago Agent finally paid me

-Thank God for credit cards

-Thank God, I have friends out here

-Thank God for a car that works

-Thank God for my Grandma. I couldn’t have done it with out her.

-Thank God for my health and I am not hung over.